Square Free Agent Pieces That Could be Forced Into Blue Round Holes

Note to self: Diss AAA+ pitchers more often in hopes of results like last night. Good to see the guy is getting an extended look after kind of being forgotten after his pitching down the stretch last year.

These are the position players I'd like to make offers to in varying degrees depending on the circumstances.

LF Abreu, Dunn
CF Andruw Jones
RF Kosuke Fukodome

3B A-Rod
1B Dunn
C/PH/1B Piazza

SP Jason Jennings

CP/RP
Eric Gagne
Scott Linebrink

The highest priority on the position players would be A-Rod. Personally, I can't stand the guy. I don't like him and his prima-donna style. I like his agent even less, but he's a third baseman and probably one of the top 3 hitters in the game right now. So, putting my personal feelings aside I'd offer the guy 6 years 170 million and personally hope his agent never calls back. Plan B is plugging Andy LaRoche in at third base.

Adam Dunn would be the next phone call I'd make. I would let his agent know we'd want him as a left fielder and if he's not comfortable out there everyday then let me know so I can move on. Dunn is good and all, but Loney is good, young, cheap, and demonstrated he cannot be moved to the outfield so the slow footed, un-slick fielding Dunn can be handed first base.

Fukodome is kind of a question mark. First because not every position player's power numbers end up translating well to america. Second, the guy is coming off surgery and is already past his prime. Going after Fukodome or any of the other outfielders would have to come after lining up a deal to ship off an outfielder like Pierre (preferably) or Ethier.

Who to give Pierre to.
This needs its own section. Clearing up the obligation to Pierre and clearing up an outfield spot for a potential power hitter would be the most important move a dodger GM could do to help improve the offense. A while back when I pretended to play GM I suggested the Mariners since they have a terrible GM that makes head scratching moves. He has since signed his star center fielder to an extension, thus killing a Pierre to Seattle deal. I now have to find a new stooge to trade Pierre to. I will make it into a feel good baseball story. Rick Ankiel with his clutch homers has completed his conversion to a position player and has earned a starting job in the outfield now with the Cardinals. With Ankiel in right, Duncan in left and Edmonds announcing his retirement the cards had to do something and the dodgers were happy to oblige in providing the cards with a speedy, Willie McGee/Vince Coleman type outfielder. I would ask for Brendan Ryan and Troy Percival. Basically nothing. If Percival's arm doesn't fall off and if Brendan Ryan just plays like a younger and better version of Ramon Martinez I would call the deal a success. Good of a story as I could come up with, which means it most likely doesn't happen.

Total pie in the sky there. Anyways if the Yankees do something ridiculous like offer Fukodome 8 years and 120 million dollars I'd have to go call Bobby Abreu's agent and offer him 2 years 30 million and then call Scott Boras about Andruw and listen to him rattle on about how Andruw Jones always wanted his own private plane to travel around on and wants to buy enough dinosaur specimens to get enough dna clone, produce, and make a female T-Rex that can then lay enough eggs for Andruw to make and eat his very own T-Rex omlette.

Yeah, I'd rather go with Abreu. He'd be a great number 3 hitter that could shield the budding kids from the pressure that Martin went through part of the season in carrying the team. Abreu is the epitome of patience that could rub off on the younger players that could learn more in the plate discipline department like Kemp. I'd put Abreu in left, Ethier in right, and Kemp in center field.

If I was a no go on any free agent outfielders and Pierre was already gone I'd open up one hole to plug another. I'd interest the Red Sox in one of the best shortstops in the game who won't disappoint the Fenway fans for their center field prospect Jacoby Ellsbury. I might even offer to take back some of Julio Lugo's horrible contract. Otherwise, the dodgers would probably have to add in a fringe prospect just because of their farms reputation and because Boston has gutted their farm, but 5 years or so of an obp machine in center is a decent consolation prize for missing out on every power hitting outfielder on the market.

Last on the list would be Mike Piazza just in case he'd want to retire as a dodger which probably isn't too likely as he still seems to have some juice left working up in the bay as a designated hitter. Maybe I'd have better luck in a year or two.

The only starting pitcher that is remotely worth locking up is Jennings and he's a huge question mark after going to the Astros and seemingly forgetting how to pitch. With how much he screwed up his career this year he may just opt for a one year contract to try to raise his value. At least that's what I would do. I wouldn't sign this guy.

I'd want to offer Gagne a contract and seeing how much he regretted becoming a mercenary. I would hope he would sign for somewhere around 5-6 million. His current whip is higher than anything he's posted since '01 --before he started relieving full time. He probably wouldn't want to be back in blue unless he's the closer so I doubt he would re-sign with L.A.

I'd also be interested in adding Linebrink. He's a good reliever and more importantly he is consistently good. Yeah, he makes too much money, but he has the whole former Padre thing going for him. It would just be poetic justice to shut the padres down with their own former reliever.